How to Buy Your Wife Jewelry

Dear Husbands,
Contrary to what you might think, your wife (most likely) would not care for a printer, toaster, or exercise DVDs for Christmas. If you would like to give something that will truly be remembered, and deemed as a thoughtful gift, buy your wife a token of your appreciation and love – jewelry. Your significant other is the person who brings the utmost joy in your life, the person who tolerates your snoring, and the person who picks up your unmentionables off the floor. Demonstrate your gratitude with something that will delight her eyes!

Here are some tips to help you begin your search:

1. Take a look at your wife’s jewelry to get an idea of her style. Does she prefer small/dainty or large/chunky jewelry? Does she wear silver, gold or both?

2. What is her favorite color? What color(s) does she wear most often? What is her birthstone?

3. Determine your budget. Remember how much you spend on tools;)

4. If you are planning to buy a bracelet, measure her wrist while she is sleeping.

5. If you planning to buy earrings, make sure her ears are pierced.

6. Choose a piece that is similar to her current jewelry or another option is to purchase personalized custom jewelry that has special meaning, e.g., jewelry with names of children or grandchildren, anniversary dates, etc.

7. Inquire about exchange and return policies, just in case your perfect gift is not so perfect in your wife’s eyes.

8. Plan your jewelry buying in advance, in order to avoid added stress and impulse buying.

9. Try not to choose something that look like fishing lures from your tackle box.

10. Don’t ask your mother for advice:)

English from Around the World

Airline ticket office, Copenhagen :
WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN
ALL DIRECTIONS.

In a Bangkok temple :
IT IS FORBIDDEN TO ENTER A WOMAN, EVEN A
FOREIGNER, IF DRESSED AS A MAN.

Cocktail Lounge , Norway :
LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN
THE BAR.

Doctors office, Rome :
SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER
DISEASES.

Dry cleaners, Bangkok :
DROP YOUR TROUSERS HERE FOR THE BEST
RESULTS.

In a Nairobi restaurant :
CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE
OUGHT TO SEE THE MANAGER.

On the main road to Mombassa, leaving Nairobi :
TAKE NOTICE: WHEN
THIS SIGN IS UNDER WATER, THIS ROAD IS
IMPASSABLE.

On a poster at Kencom :
ARE YOU AN ADULT THAT CANNOT READ? IF SO
WE CAN HELP.

In a City restaurant :
OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK AND
WEEKENDS.

In a cemetery :
PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS FROM
ANY BUT THEIR OWN GRAVES.

Tokyo hotel's rules and regulations :
GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO
SMOKE OR DO OTHER DISGUSTING BEHAVIOURS IN
BED.

On the menu of a Swiss restaurant :
OUR WINES LEAVE YOU NOTHING TO
HOPE FOR.

In a Tokyo bar :
SPECIAL COCKTAILS FOR THE LADIES WITH
NUTS.

Hotel, Yugoslavia :
THE FLATTENING OF UNDERWEAR WITH PLEASURE IS THE
JOB OF THE CHAMBERMAID.

Hotel, Japan :
YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE
CHAMBERMAID.

In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox
monastery :
YOU ARE WELCOME TO VISIT THE CEMETERY WHERE FAMOUS
RUSSIAN AND SOVIET COMPOSERS, ARTISTS AND WRITERS ARE BURIED
DAILY EXCEPT THURSDAY.

Advertisement for donkey rides, Thailand :
WOULD YOU LIKE TO RIDE ON YOUR OWN ASS?

A laundry in Rome :
LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND SPEND THE
AFTERNOON HAVING A GOOD TIME.